What we did during the session. It's written by Bernice, me then Peifang for each different paragraph respectively, enjoy!

Hello! I am so glad I found your unit, I almost got lost. Okay, so first things first: What's your name? Oh okay, nice name. I wish my parents thought of that. Right. So where's your room? (bernice)

Upstairs? Bring me there. How would I know where it is? Yes, you go first. No, don't trip on the stairs, I can't afford the hospital bill! (me)

Okay, wow, nice room! Oohh.. Haha. Is it just me or do I smell rotten eggs and old cheese in here? Ugh... I'd take it that it's just me since you're not answering. Okay, anyway, let's start. (peifang)

Do you have a timetable? Those papers which they give out containing the time and day of each lesson? No, that's a calendar, see? There's the month on it. Who says timetables state the month? No wait, don't answer that, that was rhetorical, I take it back. Just.... Go look for your timetable. Or anything that looks remotely like one. (bernice)

Oh, that looks like it, is that it? No wait, it says 2006. Why are you even keeping this?! Look at the calendar you just gave it, it's 2007. Wake up!(me)

Alright, man! You found it! Finally... Okay, now read it... No, not the headline, you cretin, the contents! This is all new to you, isn't it? Tsk, the words in the little boxes... Ohh, just read the one at the top, not all! (peifang) [yes, this is wat I meant jus now]

Yes, it is Monday. No, not Tuesday. Monday! The first column! Yes, ok, you've got it. That's English. So what do you bring for english? What? Don't you have any idea? Do you know how late we're running? None of my employees have BEEN this late, please don't start, you'll scar my reputation.

Do you have a textbook for english, even? What do you mean what's that? TEXTBOOK... the one with hell tons of word... Yes, word. Not work. Does it ring a bell?

MMmm.... Yeah. That's close but that's maths... Um, hello? Earth to the person who doesn't even know what a textbook is, the pages have lots of numbers in it, does it look like english? Okay, stop arguing! Just put the book away and search PROPERLY.

That has words in it but it's a dictionary. Texts aren't quite so thick, all the students would have died. Hey, listen pal, I may be pale but I'm not dead. No! I just get little sun! No!!! Vampirism is... Stop trying to distract me! Look, there, that's english. Grab that. For the last time, I'm not undead!!

Okay, now look at the next column. Not right, down. That's RIGHT. I want DOWN. The box below the one which says english. Yes, that's the one. And it says? Maths... Okay. Maths.

Now this is going to be easy, isn't it? You just put your maths textbook away, remember? No, you did, look, it's just beside you. Yeah, put it in your bag along with the english book in your hands. Now you see the difference between maths and english? Smart... Okay, now where's your bag? What? You don't have one? Okay, I take back my compliment...

See that crumpled old thing? That's your-- Oh my God, that's your bag?! What, did it get savaged by wild dogs? Oh. Well. I had to ask. Okay. In go the books. Now for your uniform! That's your closet, isn't it? Well, open it! Wait, what do you mean your uniform's in the wash? Don't you have more than one pair? Well, I see another peeking out from underneath your bed! Ohhcrap. I think I know where the smell is coming from now.

What? You don't wash it? What school do you come from? Wait, isn't that uniform supposed to be... Forget it. Bring it for ironing.

What do you mean what do I mean?! Iron! The heavy bone-shaped thing that turns real hot when you turn the switch on? No, you can't not iron it. You know what, why don't you rub soap on it before you start ironing, because I realise I'm not breathing normally. No, I don't need a diaphragm! I need AIR!

Or perfume? You do realise I'm teaching you something extra don't you? You don't know what perfume is? Forget it. Grab that soap. Rub it into your uniform. No, you're just squishing it. Lightly... Yes. That's it. Okay. Flick the suds off. You know... Oh, come ON. You don't need an explanation for THAT, do you?! Fine, I'll do it. There. The iron! Grab the iron! We're running late!!! Don't you have a sense of urgency? Or for that, ANY sense at all?!

You think you do? Well then prove it! Get the iron and iron out your uniform! What where?! Don't you know that irons come with ironing boards? Oh Jesus, do you even live here? Forget it... At least it smells... better now.

Just remember to keep your distance, and don't talk to anymore for more than five minutes. Those poor souls. Why? Haha... You don't want to know why, trust me.... Hey hey hey, why you headed for the bed, we're not done yet! Hello? I'm talking to you! Well, I'm looking at you aren't I? Get back here!

You still have to put on your socks. You're paying me for a reason, you know. Wait-- You ARE paying me though, right? What do you mean you're not going to school because your mood is spoilt? No wait, just answer the first one. Oh, Christ, you're infuriating! I don't care how frustrated you are, are you going to pay me or not?!

Oh forget it. I am getting out of this PLACE. This junk. Waste of my time, waste of my life. Why did you even bother hiring a professional when you are not paying, you retard. I am out of here. Hey, open the door. No wait, this is a window... Qhere the hell is the door? Help! Forget it... The window will do.

Ugh. Ouch. Hmm... Is this a road...? Is that a car? I see headlights. Wait, it's coming towards me! I better go... Ouch, my leg! I must have hurt it when I fell out the darn window. Ahh! It's coming! What am I gonna--